


Not Until I Was Miles Away

by EllieCee



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst-y?, M/M, Realizations, also really angsty, set after tao left
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-14
Updated: 2015-11-14
Packaged: 2018-05-01 13:22:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5207390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllieCee/pseuds/EllieCee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It wasn't until after Tao left, and went far away, that he realized.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Until I Was Miles Away

**Author's Note:**

> This is my friend Kate's fault
> 
> unbeta'ed

He was thousands of miles away now, a whole mass of land and oceans between him and what was before. Not too many knew him here, not really, and the sea breeze that blew in from his window was cool. It was peaceful.

 

No one will hurt him anymore.

 

But the thing is, he always came back to something, this _thing_ that was planted in the back of his mind. It’s a strange, unsettling feeling and it ached at the same time.

 

His phone buzzed. Two messages from his manager – a reminder about an important shoot later. The third one he didn’t recognize at first, but a second look got him to realize.

 

He always knew his number like the back of his hand.

 

Suddenly, the breeze felt too cold, so he shut the window and picked his phone back up with trembling hands.

 

_Is this you?_

He stared at the bright screen with a brick in his stomach and dull feeling in his chest. He walked to the kitchen and paced in front of the refrigerator, him mind running and running, unable to pause.

 

Then he walked back, picked up the phone and dialed the number, his fingers tingling. He didn’t even know what time it was back there, but he didn’t care. He thought of excuses, things to say, but his head turned blank at the voice on the other end of the line.

 

“Hello?”

 

He wanted to sink into the floor and never come back up again.

 

He paused for a beat, then shakily replied, “J-Jun-Myeon.”

 

He heard a sharp intake of breath.

 

“It _was_ yours then,” Jun-Myeon said.

 

His fingers rapped the back of his phone. “Yeah. You found it.”

 

There’s a hesitation.

 

“Yeah,” Jun-Myeon chuckled, “You slipped it inside _your_ shoes. The one you left here.”

 

There was something off in his voice.

 

“Look,” he started, “Jun-Myeon, I didn’t want to leave without-“

 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving?” Jun-Myeon said. His voice shook.

 

He rubbed his temples. There was no way to defend himself this time – the others might’ve deserved it. But not Jun-Myeon, never him. No one else there had ever made him feel safe. Jun-Myeon didn’t deserve this.

 

“I-I, I don’t know,” he replied.

 

There’s a long pause, and for a minute his heart sank thinking he’d heard the dial tone.

 

“I knew you weren’t happy. I wouldn’t have been mad at you for leaving,” Jun-Myeon said, words slurring together.

 

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. He knew it wasn’t enough to say it. “But that’s why I wrote down my new phone number and left it in my shoe. I knew you’d find it.”

 

Another long pause.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me yourself?” Jun-Myeon said, an edge in his voice.

 

He sighed.

 

“B-because I’m a chicken. I didn’t want to tell you to your face I was leaving. That I was leaving you too. I know, I owed you that much.”

 

He didn’t realize that he’d been sinking his nails into his palm.

 

“Yeah. I love you, you know,” Jun-Myeon uttered. It was almost a whisper.

 

He didn’t know why, but his heart thumped faster.

 

“Really?” he asked.

 

“Yes. I love you so much,” Jun-Myeon replied, “I just want you to be happy, Tao.”

 

There it was again, that unsettling, aching feeling boiling and churning away in his stomach.

 

_I love you so much._

He always thought it was because he’d taken off, or that because he knew the backlash. But he’d come to terms with those now. But the feeling was still there.

 

Maybe it was because of Jun-Myeon.

 

“Tao?”

 

His heart pounded rapidly now, head spinning. It all made sense.

 

“I love you too,” he replied.

 


End file.
